7 Steps to Understanding Your Co-workers

Posted on September 4, 2007 by C Johnson
Culture

Confession: I am a selfish person.

Newsflash: so are you.

Now don’t go getting your knickers in a twist over it—that wasn’t meant maliciously. In fact, if your feathers are ruffled well, it only goes to prove Scott Young’s recent blog about human behavior: no one thinks more about you than you do. (Not even your mum!) Scott’ Young’s blog is aimed at presenting his thoughts on how to get the best out of life, and his recent seven “rules” to understanding behavior are meant to explore the underlying factors behind “personal clashes” and “emotional upsets.”

• Never blame malice for what can easily be explained by conceit
• Few Social Behaviors are Explicit
• Behavior is Largely Dictated by Selfish Altruism
• People Have Poor Memories
• Everyone is Emotional
• People are Lonely
• Did I Mention People Are Self-Absorbed?

Scott’s basic belief that people are inherently “selfishly altruistic” means that it is, in effect, pointless to allow yourself to become rubbed the wrong way by offhand comments made by workmates, your boss, your partner, the mailman, a waiter, etc. The simple reason being that people are too busy thinking about themselves to be purposefully, overtly cruel to you as a person.

It’s a broad generalization, true, and Scott’s post is admittedly filled with such generalizations, but the fact is that his basic concepts are pretty much spot on. At the very least, the post is worth mulling over the next time your boss says something that sends you fuming—there is much comfort to be found in the words “the hurt you feel is a side-effect, not the principle cause.”

(Of course, Scott is also quick to admit that there are exceptions to every one of his “rules,” which means it’s very possible that, yes, your boss does really hate you.)

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